I stumbled upon the following letter which was written as a blog post on
www.flintland.blogspot.com. I am pretty sure it was written to me, about me, and for me. It brought tears to my eyes.
Hey Fat Girl….
Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths
on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy.
You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you
cringe.
You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making
larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You
sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20
minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home.
You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.
You are awesome.
If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would
notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started
is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a
brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far
exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and
to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.
You have already begun
your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and
passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much
promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before,
and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former
person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that
is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is
possible.
You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring
headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice
that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so
inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best
where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who
vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet,
it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to
come here, and to come back again.
You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you.
You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and
you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow,
you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your
own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up
for you. You are a true inspiration.
I bow to you.
Wow. Just wow.
Those that are close to me know that I struggle with calling myself a runner...I mean, come on, I don't look like a runner, I'm slow, and I don't always act like a runner (real runners don't take weeks off from running at a time like I do..do they?). But you know what, I AM a runner simply because I run. Not because I'm good at it. Not because I look like a runner. And not because I act like a runner. I am a runner because I run.
Besides the fact that I am a runner simply because I run...I can say I am a runner simply because of all the running paraphernalia I have accumulated in the past 2 short years...technical shirts, dri fit pants, umpteen pair of running socks, 3 great sports bras, GPS watch, heart rate monitor, interval timer, spi belt, sweaty bands, iPod shuffle, and the newest addition, a hydration belt. Oh yeah, and last but not least...my rack for hanging all my medals and numbers! I
I have jumped back on the running train with a vengeance! I have had some great runs/walks/waddles (thankfully, no crawling yet) the past week. I am getting reading for Peachtree Road Race #6 in a few weeks. After that I have half-marathons #5 & #6 coming up in the fall. Excited about getting back into training mode and knocking out a few miles and PR's along with way!
