Too many left to go!
Is it January yet? Or for that matter, is it June?
Obviously, this vent session blog post is about school. Let's just say that it has been a less than stellar start to the year. Maybe it's because this is my 13th year and I'm just in a rut. Maybe it's because things are changing at school...and not necessarily for the better. I tend to think it's the later of the 2.
I, unfortunately, have uttered the words "I love my job...I just don't like coming to school" too many times in the past 21 days (if you count the 5 days of pre-planning). And I really honestly do love my job. I love seeing children (and teachers, too) excited about books and reading. I love making sure things are organized. I love planning technology-rich lessons. I love being able to help teachers when the technology just isn't working. And, sure, there are parts of my job that I don't absolutely love. RBES goals...not quite how I like to spend my time. Shelving books...not exactly how I want to spend my time as a media specialist (and I really don't shelve that often). Dealing with the book room...not sure how this became my responsibility, but it has...and I wish it would magically appear on someone else's "To Do" list.
But...these are not the reasons I don't enjoy going to school these days. Those are just part of the job
The reasons are along the lines of things like not feeling I am trusted to do my job (I am the only person in the school who is certified as a media specialist), getting multiple reminders about the same thing, being told I need to write a "manual" for the broadcast studio because of a minor mishap (a "manual" for the studio which contains 2 computers, 2 cameras, 1 video editing machine, an audio board with 10 inputs, a video switcher with 4 inputs, a green screen, a teleprompter, and 2 different VCR's...might as well be a novel), being told how to spend the money I receive from the county (again, who's the certified person), having to write detailed lesson plans (I could rattle of the AKS all my lessons teach)...I could go on and on...but I'll stop. Should I wonder why I have literally cried my way home at least once a week since school started? It's just plain ridiculous! This kind of stress shouldn't enter the picture until like November...not in July, the day we went back for pre-planning.
And then there is the whole not being a classroom teacher thing. I have said it before and I will say it again, the classroom teacher has the hardest job at the school. They are literally on the front lines with the students day in and day out. However, that does not mean that the rest of us are just kicking out feet up and chilling for 8 hours a day. When you don't have student test scores directly tied to you, you're viewed (and treated) as though you're just not as important at the classroom teacher. Almost like a second class citizen. I work my tail off at school...creating lessons, dropping what I'm working on to help a teacher in need, constantly analyzing our collection to see where I need to weed and where I need to add more items, creating curriculum related lessons, and let's not forget turning the library into a bookstore for a week and a half two times a year for book fair...it's never ending. Just like the classroom teacher. Those of us who are considered "support staff" aim to do just that...support. But unfortunately, support sometimes just doesn't make the grade.
This afternoon was kind of the "last straw." I found out the week before last that I had been nominated for Teacher of The Year...quite an honor if you ask me! I looked over the application for a few days and quickly realized that it was definitely geared towards the classroom teacher. It's a county-wide application so I can't really blame anyone at my school. I debated filling it out and then after a ridiculous (read horrible) day last week, I decided I wasn't going to fill it out. After talking to a few people, they convinced me to take the time to fill it out. So I spent last Thursday evening writing about how I collect data, my teaching philosophy, my community involvement (that was a no brainer for me!), and my professional development experiences. Today the finalists were announced...and they were all classroom teachers. And I know there was at least one other non-classroom teacher who submitted their application. Just another reminder that what we do doesn't count as much. Now, I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and yes, it bruised my ego a bit...but I think what has upset me more is the realization that the committee doesn't see as much value in what we as non-classroom teachers do as compared to classroom teachers. This was the second time in 4 years that I have been nominated as a media specialist and not been chosen as a finalist. Not really sure I want to ever find out if the 3rd time is the charm.
Think I should have taken the advice of a colleague who was also nominated for Teacher of The Year. A few of use were discussing it and she said she wasn't going to fill out the application. When asked why, her response was "I know I am a good teachers. I don't need to know that I'm not popular." Think there a lot to be said with that statement...
Thanks for reading...time to crank up the school laptop and start playing around with some new software so I can teach the teachers how to use it...not really my job, but that's how I roll!
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