Today I had the sobering realization that I have a character flaw. Well, actually, I have quite a few, but today I am focusing on only one. What is it you ask? I am too loyal...almost loyal to a fault.
Loyalty is a good thing and a great character trait to have. We all know people who are loyal...loyal to their family, their friends, their jobs, just loyal. All the time. Heck, my dog might be the most loyal creature I know! Now, I am not saying that I am perfect and am loyal 110% of the time, but I do pride myself on being someone my family and friends (and sometimes ever strangers) can count on. I can safely say that I am someone who does what I say I am going to do. In my opinion, loyalty should be a 2-way street...but, sadly, it's not. And at almost 35 years old, I am learning it the hard way.
Please tell me if I am wrong, but I feel like I am someone my friends can count on...count on to listen to them and not judge, count on to be there for them whether they are getting married, having a baby, changing jobs, or having emergency surgery..I am there...even if it screws up my plans and my schedule. Even if I have to rearrange my plans. Even if I don't agree. I am there. But unfortunately, I am slowly realizing that loyalty is not always reciprocated. And honestly, it stinks. Really, it sucks!
It is hard for me to say no to people...but apparently, it's not that hard for a lot of people. I think I need to learn to say no. Learn to tell people that I can't. Learn that it is okay to say no. I think I say yes a lot because I don't want to let people done or hurt their feelings...but apparently, lots of other people don't have a problem with this. I am not saying that I want to be someone who no one can count on...but I think I need to take a long, hard look at some of my friendships and evaluate if the loyalness is a 2-way street or if I am driving on the road by myself. I guess it's part of getting older. Seeing who your true friends are. Seeing who will be there for you in the good times and the bad. Seeing who makes it a point to see you and talk to you..even if it is out of the way. Even if it is an inconvenience. Even if it means changing plans. 'Cause I have always thought that that is what friends do.
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